The Last Official Day...

31st January, 2007. Wow. School is finally over. Finally? Haha. No more of fighting with your sleep in the morning, no more of sitting in boring Chemistry classes, no more annoying sessions of prep, no more “punishments”, no more of “volcanoes” and other annoying people, no more of dealing with school politics, no more childish cat-fights and no more minor acts of homosexuality. That’s it. It’s all over - a hurdle crossed, a bar cleared, a mountain conquered, a story written, the Section A of “Life” is over. Wow. I should be happy and glad for my childhood prayers have been answered, right?

But then why is it suddenly so difficult to accept? I have been waiting for this moment (and of course, also for end March), and now that I am experiencing it, I just want to rewind, or relive, or continue in the same old cycle, with the same old people, enjoying the same old friendship, the same old flow of love (however corny that sounds), the same old sense of belonging, the same old same old. It’s difficult dealing with attachment, detachment seems almost impossible.

Today was full of contrasting emotions. First was pride. Our slightly younger peers, i.e Grade 11, blew me (us) away with a beautiful rendition of voices and passion. Then the hypocrisy seemed to seep in, not from them, but generally, and that left me wondering negatively. Loads of pictures, rehearsals, autographs (weirdly enough), hugs and smiles followed. I felt happy and sad. Happy for I would be running away from the wasteful and unnecessary politics and wrongness, and sad as I will not get to spend time with those genuine people that I have genuinely grown close to. Sad - more, for I will miss the pure stupidity that elated us, that moment of immaturity that broke my heart, only to mend itself into a stronger one and the pure respect and love that I and we received from those that saw well in us. From the subtle encouragement of our teachers, to some moments of their sheer brilliance, to their acceptance of our failure, to their respect for our honesty, to their company for our pleasure, to their guidance and support in times of our weakness – it just blows me away. There is so much good and bad, but to appreciate the good and learn from the bad is to make the most of what you get.

It is confusing, this emotion. I know I will miss school and that I will always have this un-destroyable desire to return to school, but at the same time I know I have to look beyond it and dive into the realms of what the future holds for me. I will miss our school and the people I have grown to love, but I will not forget them and those that have changed my life, and taught me it’s greatest lessons. I don’t need signed shirts to do that. I will forget the bad, and make my own soft hours to which I can turn to. This contradiction leaves me almost emotionless – I can’t believe there is no more school.

P.S. Attachment can be a source of annoyance, but it’s the greatest sustainer. Wow – now I am philosopher. Anyway, I still have 2 months of studying left, the before-party, the farewell dinner, the board exams, and the Sports Day to look forward too. Not quite completely over yet now, huh?

by Anish Malpani

"Love's Sweet Salute"

Movie: Salaam-e-Ishq
Length: 220 minutes = 3 hrs 40 mins
Feedback: Fake, 'Faltu' and Filmy

How long can a movie get? How pathetic can acting become? How boring can a feature film be? Salaam-e-Ishq answers all of the above questions more convincingly and satisfying-ly than any other film I have seen to date. It broke records - we actually walked out after the interval.

Why? It’s as if the God wanted to make a really bad film and thought of taking it out on Bollywood. “Inspired” from the classy English film ‘Love Actually’, Salaam-e-Ishq couldn’t go that wrong now could it? Well it did. Sprayed with “un-inspiring” songs and road-side acting, I cannot really point out any positives. Yes the caste seemed very impressive, but figure the following: Vidya Balan is not bad, but is un-pretty and fat; John Abraham is John “too-cool-but-fake-ironed-hair” Abraham; Salman Khan is the epitome of fake + annoying; Priyanka Chopra is fatter and fake-r than ever; Govinda is half decent, but annoying to people who have a general disgust for him; Anil Kapoor hardly speaks a word, but a random, hot, young girl kisses him on the cheek for doing her a small favour, and thus begins a desperate extra-marital wannabe love-affair; Akshaye Khanna is the best over-actor ever and Sohail Khan ridiculously just doesn’t ‘get’ any, but the car in which he is trying to “do it” does fall into his parents’ new house through the roof, but no one dies.

Basically, it was utter bullshit, which was not funny in any way, and this we figured after watching 90 minutes of it, only 130 minutes were left when we walked out. Now if 90 minutes can’t sustain you…

Fine, I guess a story can never, and should never go wrong when it comes to love, but this movie proves even that wrong. As an Aaj Tak reported put it, somewhere within the Fat Lady that is Salaam-e-Ishq, the Thin Lady is waiting to burst out, but the friggin’ flab is too much of an obstruction. I laughed a lot during this Fat Lady. I laughed at the crowd which laughed at the lamest of jokes, I laughed at the ridiculousness of the film, I laughed at Salman Khan for he is one funny pain-in-the-butt and I laughed at myself for paying 35 dirhams to watch this film.

So my advice – don’t you dare watch Salaam-e-Ishq. And if you do, please feel free to walk out whenever you wish. You can enjoy the sheer stupidity of it, but even that gets annoying after some time. To me, this movie is a definition of what not to make and what not to see, so if you are still trying to figure what that is, then it’s a must see.

P.S. It was my sister and my cousin who “forced” me to watch this film.

by Anish Malpani

Becks In The States

" It's tantamount to a semi retirement isn't it? "
-Gary Lineker on Beckham's move.

Totally. It's an escape, with a hint of exploration for Becks, and family. Obviously, Becks’ PR agent is brilliantly diplomatic, for all his public statements are a hundred percent politically and “for-good-image”-ly correct. Apparently he is in it only to raise the "soccer-bar" of the USA. Right. But credit to David on that. How much ever he does get the stick, there is this general radiation of genuineness in Beckham which must be appreciated. But his wife? Well let’s just leave that bit to the “Insider”.

Let us first understand the enormity of this contract – 128 million pounds of 5 years – yes 128 with 6 zeros, to play for an American “Soccer” Team, in country which calls the age-old game of football, “Soccer”! All in all, the moneys adds up to about 26 million pounds a year, and about 490,000 pounds a week, which is about 70,000 pounds a day. Yes I know everyone can do the math, and everyone knows the “figure(s)”, but I need to reiterate – It’s a bloody large sum of money! All I am saying, Mr Beckham, is that, being Godly is all good, but a sum like that would attract even Him. So it wouldn’t be all that bad to admit the fact that, well yes, the money is a ‘fair’ factor, and along with that, “I can also bring about some growth in the MLS, and take American “soccer” to another level” and the other rot. A good counter on that statement of mine would be that Becks has enough already with all his endorsements, so more of these “paper-notes” wouldn’t make that much of a difference to him, but humanity and Posh are different. We humans spend a lot if we can and so does she, maybe her a 'little' more than we can, and when you have 3 mouths to fill, you need that much money now, don’t you?

Sorry, that does sound a little harsh, but sometimes it’s so glaring that we debate only because of the severity of the situation, which goes beyond reason. Let’s not do that. I feel the money is one of the major factors to David's departure and a sum like that will always be - just accept it - no one’s going to kill you. Another "factor", according to me, is Posh. The Hitler-Beckham would love to go the States right, and to Los Angeles? Jackpot!Well to put it nicely 'the family' would love to spend time in one of the most livable places in the world. Now if one women could get a reward for the highest amount of ‘influencing-of-a-man’, it would be the spicy Victoria. From the wackiest haircuts that sometimes even the most open minded people found horrendous (though some were actually good), to the wrongly spelt Hindi-‘Vhictoria’ tattoo, Posh has shaped the pink-man that David is today. Well she is his wife, so it’s not all that bad, but ever since the one thing he is half-good at, “football” has gone no where. His hair, his tattoos, the children, the money, some more hair and so on have been the center of his life. But then, we shouldn’t take anything away from David, after all the best men are the family men. But Davy-boy, let's leave all that apart, just tell us gossip-hungry sadists the real reason for your new pursuit - that’s all I want.

Maybe I am making a big deal out of the family factor and the female-Hitler, but hey how deceiving is what appears? We will never know. So for my selfish pleasure, I write this half-sadistic post and try and ridicule the living day lights out of the Beckham family.

David Beckham’s right foot is legendary in its own way – but then, that’s it. His time at Manchester is also legendary, but since Madrid, it’s been downhill battle for him, and Posh hasn’t really helped. Will Beckham do any better in a “Galaxy” far, far away? Will he “revolutionize” American soccer? I really don’t think so.

MLS commissioner Don Garber said in a statement: "David transcends the sport and is a cultural icon. David is clearly one of the most recognizable athletes in the world”.

I say: "David is clearly one of the most recognizable male-fashion-icons of world, beyond the little football he can play with his right boot.” But then who the hell am I?

P.S. I superficially apologize for the harshness, but my views stick.

by Anish Malpani