February, 2007

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – Chemistry Practicals

Chem is tree. Ha Ha. Funny joke huh? Well ‘Chem Pracs’ was a joke, an annoying, half-funny joke.

There was nothing exciting about our car journey to school except that I forgot that it was a Friday and that there would be no buses back home. Shit. But Ali’s parents came to our rescue quite brilliantly, and transport wasn’t a problem. Also Shayaan cracked a very harmless joke about “not-asking-Romit-but-Shrivats-your-doubts” which brought out Ali’s protective colours. He snapped back at the tall ‘pianist’, and basically, Romit, that’s a sign that you are loved, despite everything. =)

Once we entered school, the same old same old remained the same old same old. Wise-cracks and nerve-releasing laughter rang all around. Ritesh’s “ten dirhams” was a constant amidst all this. Nobody was really revising, though everyone had “sheets” in their hands. The same old teacher-brief followed when Dr Khan enlightened us with his wisdom. We made our entry into our laboratories after a short and sweet Mr Bloud prayer.

I began my escapade with titration. Soon I, and well we, switched into the same old panic gear. The titration required our solutions, which were in the conical flask to be heated, and there where no flames in the physics lab. Screwed. We did have water baths though, but they weren’t really working with the flasks. We did try, and Basheer did almost burn his hand, but all we got for our efforts were broken flasks, exploding stoppers, toppling solutions and a big scare. We were definitely not ready for this. So the whole jing-bang of “authoritative figures” came into the room trying to rectify this problem, with each one trying to outsmart the other. Special cooking-stove-like structures were then brought in. The water baths were satisfyingly manipulated, and 25 minutes later, the titration experiment actually started making sense. But it didn’t need to make sense, because “pssst, 20.1” – go figure.

Organic was easy. We all know why – as Omar (yes Ali, your brother) said, Basheer Zindabad! But even besides him and his great services, it was indeed easy. As we prepared to dive into our mixture analysis, another “psssst…pass it on” occured. So, anyway, mixture analysis was a breeze. We did show all our confirmatory tests to the examiner, now didn’t we? Everyone came out of their respective labs happy, showering wedding congratulations to our man Basheer, and greeting their fellow compatriots with toothy victorious smiles. Everyone got everything. Yay!

Shrivats broke all records today. He asked for an extra booklet to supplement his 16 pages. But my sources say that he wanted to “re-write” the entire paper in thirty minutes because he has scratched something out somewhere. Now something like that confuses me – Should I increase his odds or decrease them? Govind, Bharath and Unmukt seemed un-distressed, so umm, their odds kinda remain the same, though I have reason to believe that Unmukt has more drive, but as I discussed with you Unmukt, there is a fine line between confidence and overconfidence. Ali is getting full as usual and he might actually get additional marks thanks to his seduction skills, Ritesh is doing “brilliantly”, Tejas actually got everything this time, so I think I need to cut him some slack and get rid of one of his zeros. Romit, Yuvraj, Ashiq and everyone else I can think of did well. The girls also seemed happy and the “external examiners” were just awesome. Dr Khan was so tensed, until the end, obviously.

One of the external invigilators, who happened to be some football coach of some school came to me in the middle my grade 12 board examination and whispered in my ear, “So you finally get the cup, hai?”

Anish and Ali couldn’t stop laughing during the car-ride home.

P.S. Odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand:
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 3.001:1
Unmukt: 3.5:1
Tejas: 780800:1

Current Investments: 0 – you cheap bastards.

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – Physics Practicals

I sleep really well last night. Just before, I had filled my ‘pencil’-box with loads of pens, pencils, rubbers and so on, made sure my clothes and lab-coat was ironed, my admit card was around, my alarm was set, my bag was packed and my face and only that was shaved. The physics practical exam doesn’t require studying, apparently.

By 6:20 A.M. Ali, Shayaan and me are in Shayaan’s mum’s car, and after the usual check-ups, there is an eerie board-like silence. Yup our boards have finally begun, and so has the tension and the studying, and the increasingly periodic excretion. But back in the car, I scold Ali for laminating his Admit Card – don’t do it, ever, the ‘authenticity’ (thanks Zafar) of an official document no longer remains once it is laminated. But then Ali commits greater sins, first of which – he forgets to sign the friggin’ Admit Card before laminating it, and second, he lies to us about it, only to confess later on. Loser.

We arrive in school earlier than we should, only to realize that Aaron, Rubin, Tejas and the remaining Sharjah gang reached school at 5:30AM – an hour earlier. Brilliantly safe, you guys. After the previous English Language experience, any earlyy arrival time earlier is better. However, it is now that the board-exam nervous-feeling starts to disappear. A lot of laughing at the same Rohith-jokes, a lot of singing of the same Ali-Tejas songs and a lot of random talking-updates follow. That’s what I am going to miss most about school, the same old same old fun =). Anyway, Bharath enters, and is greeted with a bowlful of love (hugs) and a chorus of Happy Birthdays, by everyone except Rohith. Why? Rohith has forgotten his lab coat. All the jokes don’t seem funny any more, and he actually switches into panic gear, but thankfully, only temporarily.

Finally the time to be half-serious comes upon us. Reshmi Ma’am gives us the potential-could-be answers, and the last minute reminders and tips. We line up, the girls on one side, boys on the other, and Mr. Joseph above us, on the stairs. The external examiner, who has flown in all the way from India, as in THE man, is late. So Mr Joseph unleashes on us the longest and brestest-sorry best-est of prayers, and we finally move into our respective laboratories.

The paper is simple. But I still end up messing up the first, easy Optical Bench experiment. It’s my turn to switch into panic gear, but I calm down after manipulating and rectifying the stupid error. There is a randomly fascinating moment amidst all this. Basheer, our school’s lab assistant, moves to each table, and mumbles random numbers – 33 2 35. Hmm, interesting. Anyway, one experiment down, one to go.

The second electricity experiment seems easy-peesy. But I screw up. The supposed answer is 2, and I know it’s 2, but even after manipulation I can only get 1.64. I put all the blame on the stupid Ammeter, it couldn’t stop vibrating it’s God-damned stick. Anyway, I might lose a couple of marks there and for potentially S.I. Unit related mistakes. Damn.

But as Dr Khan said, the ISC exams are very student-friendly, and today’s paper (+ the “experience”) was a little more ‘friendly’ than it should have been, but hey, I am not complaining. The after-shocks and the after-hurray’s were the usual. A lot of confirming-your-answers-with-the-Physics-teacher took place, though different teachers gave us different answers (yeah Aaron, confusing, though I sincerely hope that the Mrs. is right).
From what I’ve heard, a certain Linda hit the nervous breakdown button, but relax girl – you will be fine. Tejas’ ultra-manipulation didn’t work for Question 1, Ali kicked-ass and is getting full, Shayaan got some weird slope for question 2, but the right final answer, Romit seemed satisfied but confused about his P-resistor’s value, Ameya seemed satisfied with a 15 on 20, the girls seemed to have been generally rocking, but Aarthy T seemed a little distressed, the twins were as confident as ever, Unmukt seemed more worried about reprimanding Mrs Balachandran for the apparent false-news that she was spreading and Bharath, my man, seemed to have hit the nail on the head, but Govind’s paper involved a lot of scratching. Hmm, that might make me want to reduce the odds for him.

Ali had a very child-filled entertaining bus-ride home.

P.S. Odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand: (investments start at a minimum of 50 fils)
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 3.00001:1
Unmukt: 4:1
Tejas: 7808000:1

Memoirs Of ISC 2007 – Prelude

It’s time for another memory-sustaining phase on this blog. Our fate-less, pain-in-the-ass ISC Exams have finally begun, and I don’t want to forget the good or the bad experience it might turn out to be. So these future posts might contain painful details, and intricate, incomprehensible tit-bits which might be only for me to get and a few others to laugh about. So ignore, read, enjoy or hate it. And for those who actually give a shit (as in can relate), please feel free to add your own experiences too.

To all my fellow ISC and ICSE exam givers, and umm also to the regular school exam-givers – Good Luck!

Oh one interesting part though, in the race to have your name printed on the school boards as ISC topper, I am betting on Bharath and Govind, and obviously supporting them. Kick-ass guys, all the way, though a certain twin will definitely be competition.

P.S. Fate-less for me, so Bharath don’t jump on me! And umm, a few betting odds as to who might top, that you might want to consider investing in:
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 3:1
Unmukt: 4:1
Tejas: 78080:1

"Dear Diary…"

Everyone has kept a “diary” (especially you women) at some point in their life, in which they have blurted out their “deepest and darkest secrets” and emotions and feelings and all the other rot. Our “diary” is generally a substitute friend in which we vent our hearts out, which we would actually have preferred doing with a living breathing reacting soul instead, at least I would have OR it is this source of amusement ten years down the line when you are laughing your buttuties off at the fact that you were once such a kid. Anyhoo, yesterday, while “studying”, I came across my “diary”. It had only one entry in it, written all the way back in the millennium year. On the cover I had made a movie-like effort to write “STOP”, “DON’T TOUCH”, “DANGER” and all the other rubbish with white-ink. It was an old book, so I stapled the first few pages to make it look new, and wolah! – I had a new “diary”. This is how my first and only entry exactly went:

Today it is the 25th of Jan, 2000, the tuesday :-

My life is ruined. I, being only in 5th have to study so much! How can I study for 6 hours. There is a limit for everything. My sister is in 2nd year of college and she dose’nt study for 6 hours per day. I cannot go for the football tournament on thursday if I do not study well on wednesday. I cannot do down(stairs) to play football except for wednesday and thursday because this is my final term. I have friends who are in 6th, 7th, 8th. They are not studying as much as I am. Now when I tell this to my parents they say, “Do not compare.” And when my friend gets little higher marks than me, then my parents say, “Next time you should get higher marks than him.” Is’nt that comparing!

My computer had gone down for repair for 3 weeks. So I couldn’t play computer for 3 weekends, that is 12 hours (I got to play 4 hours per weekend on those days). And then when the computer comes, I get my time of 4 hours, not even 6!

Nothing is going my way, not at home or at school. I am not getting good grades in my projects cause I am not getting information. I don’t have information at home. So I have to get information from the net. But the computer was’nt there for 3 weeks. So no net. Now that I have got net, I haven’t got ‘Microsoft Word!’!!!

In my cricket match, I feilded well but bowled not so good. But it was my first over of the tournament.

———- 0 ———-

Which match? – Don’t know, don’t remember, so don’t ask. By the way, that was a completely unedited version of the entry, no grammar check, no punctuation correction and no additional masala added to make you go ‘=O’. Surprisingly the entry didn’t have any girl related issues, which normally make it in most of these diaries, especially those pink ones.

I remember Tejas started a diary in 10th grade – yeah he was real grown up then. And well it was really unique, he wrote, for a week I think, every single detail of that Ali did. ‘Ali looked at me’, ‘Ali laughed’, ‘Ali dug his nose’, ‘Romit!’, ‘Harry is crazzzzy’, ‘Ali is guitar’, ‘Ali and I went up to Mrs Joshi and screwed Romit over, and Mrs Joshi loves Anish’. Now if you ever get hold of that, either you’ll get annoyed reading it or laugh your asses off. We do the latter.

P.S. If anyone doubts the ‘veracity’ of the diary entry, please feel free to ask me to show it to you if you ever make it to my place. =)

An Animal Instinct Indeed

Galtee Merci, The “Hero of Irish Agriculture”
“Ireland’s most prolific bull, which is thought to have fathered at least 100,000 daughters and countless sons and boosted the country’s milk output, has died.”

An Obituary

7th February was a day of great sadness, when the doer of all good that Irish Agriculture saw, miserably ran out of steam, and passed away. This mighty soldier who fathered at least 100,000 daughters and numerous sons, has moved on, to explore greener pastures and deflower the divine, in the heavenly abode of God. His William’s services have resulted in the desired pervasion of his kind – the spread of bull-ality in Ireland. When there was no other like him, this beast moved into “rescue-gear”, and BANG – everything came into place. His pleasurable actions saved a country from agricultural peril, for he made maximum use of God’s most private gift. This beast’s never-ending supply of masculine eggs and his stamina to out do the done substantiates his greatness. His passionate anti-celibacy and his celestial health made a perfect combination for producing the very best of his kind – protein-laden, and with premium milk quality. For ten years this fighter penetrated the impossible, and helped his country’s agriculture extensively, and all he needed was his most private God-given gift(s). A genius indeed.

May his soul come to peace.

P.S. Don’t believe me? http://www.4to40.com/newsat4/print.asp?id=817

Concentration Problem

I got up 1 & ½ hours later than I should have today, took my time in the bathroom, read the paper like it was the last time I will ever read one, ate a banana, studied Probability, took a break, had lunch, continued with the “short-break” and ended up watching Saving Private Ryan, which is awesome btw, and Harold & Kumar Go To WhiteCastle, which is decently funny, after which I logged on to Youtube, Facebook and MSN to watch, seek attention and chat, respectively; I then played PES 4, which is an awesomely addictive game, and followed that up with an hour of sleep, to wake up and realize that it’s dinner time, so I ate a scrumptious home-cooked low-fat dinner and then got very frustrated at my inability to study, so instead of studying I ended up doing something half-constructive – writing our farewell speech; which I was somewhat successful in, but which may be a little long for ‘their’ liking, and note: I was still MSN-ing and Facebook-ing during this process, after all multi-tasking is the best way to lead a life, followed closely by actually studying, instead of writing a one-sentence blog post at midnight, and now all that I have left to figure out is – should I sleep, or study all night?

P.S. Apart from the title, this post has no connection with the earlier post(s).

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