Why It Is Hard To Blog

My inconsistency or more like outright negligence to my “personal” blog does involve lethargy. But, a larger aspect looms over this laziness which just shatters all possible motivations to blog.

So http://anishmalpani.com is as public an environment as any electronic media can provide. Any individual in the whole wide world with a half decent internet connection, be it my best friends or my uncle in Timbuktu, can access my website. Whatever I say is pretty darn public. So it obviously comes down to what I say. I can be interesting and talk about movies, music and sport. I can be writing politically correct blogposts that bleed fake-ness and that border dull. Or I can write an honest take on where my head is, what my thoughts are and what I feel. But then if I choose this oh-so-therapeutic third option, I will risk exposing my deepest inhibitions and feelings. I could possibly hurt and disturb fellow “friends” with my cut-throat honesty. I could stun my uncle from Timbuktu who will take my consumption of alcohol only with spite and judgment. And let’s assume some other sensitive soul happens to unleash his/her anger on my honest expression, won’t I then be afflicted with needless regret? I don’t want to cause this dis-settlement of thoughts by just a honest expression of how I feel. But alas, this “honest expression” is exactly what I want to write about. So what confronts my over-thinking mind is a genuine dilemma. Should I care to post something that could possibly lead to a trend of tremors that is going to leave me contemplating over and over again – “should I have written that?” or should I just not write?

Yes, “I shouldn’t care” because “nobody really cares” but the mere filtering of posts is such a turn off. It is a like an extremely attractive girl with pokey, carepety legs. I want to indulge in the pleasure of public expression, but the pokey, carpety nature of this sexy expression is just a bloody downer.

P.S. I really don’t think this is an excuse. Lethargy is, though.