Every day before I sleep, I make these constant mental introspections and temporary decisions to change. They can be as superficial as “I need to put eye drops every day, not just once in a while” and as bloody important as “I need to eat healthy,” but more often than not, they just end up being these presumptuously ambitious thoughts. Positive indeed, but negative in the sense that it doesn’t actually happen. Maybe writing it out will make a difference.

There are things I really really need to change about myself.

  1. For the love of the almighty-person-sitting-up-there-or-wherever, I need to speak SLOWLY and confidently. English is pretty much my first language, but I can be so rapid and incoherent at times, that it’s frustrating. I just have this stupid paranoia that I sound weird. I need to get over it.
  2. For the love of my digestive system, I need to eat properly. I need to eat more vegetables and more fruits and less meat and less Ramen. I need to learn how to cook but I somehow feel that time is just too precious for that. I mean if you can order in cheap? Not cool. Ahh, I need to eat well.
  3. For the love of my time, I need to reduce the amount of time I spend on Facebook. Someone needs to come up with an application that measures the amount of time spent by an individual on Facebook and which then throws it in that person’s face and says: “8hrs, 2mins & 15secs. Look how much you suck at life you self-obsessing, attention-seeking loser.”
  4. For the love of my blood-pressure/stress level in the future, I need to stop delaying things to the last minute. Yes, I am very constructive in life and very energetic and enterprising and all that jazz-like-rock, but I need to stop leaving everything for just before it is due. I keep myself busy, but not at the extent of stressing out at the last friggin’ minute. I need to actually manage time.
  5. For the love of my father (and for the purpose of self-enrichment through networking), I need to keep in touch with family, friends and important people BETTER. I slack off way too much at the expense of “being busy.” Un-cool.
  6. For the love of my mental state, I need to stop over-thinking and over-analyzing every single instant of my life and just come to terms with what is. Also, I need to stop swelling in self-pity when my life is indeed very good. Who cares if I don’t have a woman to pursue. Okay yeah, I do, a little, but I need to get over it. I need to kinda meditate a little more.
  7. For the love of this blog, I need to write more because I enjoy it and because I actually have a friggin’ website that I have paid a hefty amount for. Plus, writing is therapeutic. This better be.

I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven’t started yet in the spirit of leaving things to the last minute. Plus, I also have a program to write, videos to edit for work and a sponsorship proposal I need to beautify ASAP. Yeah, I need to keep the showing-off to the minimum too. Change.

P.S. This post has too many “I”s for my liking. Just letting you know that I know.