Stress…

Stress is everywhere. Exam time – it’s around even more. Everyone, everywhere, is going through ‘shit’. So what all us “going-through-shit-ers” need is more stress. Confused? My theory – “Beyond a point, shit stress converts to fun stress, so get stressed above that point.” I really don’t know what I am saying.

“Calm is for wimps. Get real. Get stressed.”

Some stress-increasing maneuvers:

1. Choose friends you don’t like.
2. Be late. Always.
3. Behave like a sardar…
4. Go to the premiere of Casino Royale. Sit next to people. Talk loudly.
5. On your way out of the cinema, discuss the end of Casino Royale loud enough for the world to hear.
6. Record the sound of a dentist’s drill. Play it at bedtime.
7. Recognize your limitations. Then ignore them.
8. Recognize other peoples’ limitations. Then tell them what to do.
9. Before reaching the paying counter of Carrefour, remove all the bar-codes of your shopping so they won’t scan.
10. If you can’t do it, don’t let others do it.
11. The best policy – Be honest. All the time. With everyone. About everything.
12. The better policy – Lie. All the time. To everyone. About everything.
13. Practise rudeness, not just to make others feel bad, but also to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s a win-win situation.
14. Fart in confined spaces. But only if other people are present.
15. Burp, and then say “Bless Me”.
16. Hear others burp, and then say “Bless You”.
17. Whine daily.
18. Become a politician.
19. Have Red Bull before going to bed.
20. Never return things you borrow.
21. Get a job writing junk mail.
22. Blog about “how you open the bathroom door”.
23. Take credit for successes you have nothing to do with.
24. Buy a multi-alarm clock. Set the alarm for every 30 minutes. Then go to sleep.
25. HFZ – Make yourself a Humour Free Zone. If you ever find yourself laughing, go to the bathroom and get yourself together.
26. Always borrow money from your friends. Forget or put off repaying them for as long as possible.
27. Make study schedules you cannot keep up with.
28. Leave everything to the last minute.
29. At family get-togethers, start talking about the following: sex.
30. Be a wet blanket.
31. Write down your worries. Read the list before you go to bed.
32. Learn to snore.
33. Shout at people at least twice a day.
34. Try your best to make every competitor know that you are licking ass to become a prefect.
35. Buy shoes one size too small.
36. Always criticize everyone’s clothes.
37. Become like Karan. (sorry, I am in the mood)
38. Blame everyone else for your failure.
39. Remember that there is absolutely no point in talking about someone behind their back unless they get to hear about it.
40. Never have a bath.
41. Forget brushing your teeth.
42. Eat lots and lots of garlic, and then ask your crush for her number.
43. Make rumours. Spread them.
44. Intentionally fail in your exams.
45. Join the “best” school.
46. Try and enjoy the stress…
47. Do you have any more of these?

P.S. Gone are the stress-free days so make use of the stress-ful ones. Most of the above quotes were taken from “The Little Book Of Stress” written by Rohan Candappa. One of the quotes in it is, ” Take credit for successes you have nothing to do with.” Thanks Rohan.
No offense intended.