Emotional Rollercoaster
Till the day before, I had not properly spoken to my parents for a good fifteen days. My nights are painfully nostalgic and I am missing home more than I previously thought I would. Getting on to Facebook late in the night, – tired, but longing for belonging and longing for the treasured companionship that is now only the past, I was often depressed. Not depressed in the sense that I have issues, but just sad. Lost in memories, I started to wonder whether I will ever find friends like the ones I left behind. The whole concept of starting my life again, seems exciting, but at the same time a little scary. To physically disassociate from the life I once breathed, and the people I knew and loved, is sometimes difficult to swallow. Maybe it’s because I am thinking too much and have nothing else to do late at night. Yes, I know it’s a phase, and that everyone goes through it. Yes I know it’s temporary and it will last for sometime, before stabilizing itself like it does every morning anyway. Yes, I know I will meet new people, learn new things, grow, enjoy the independence, enjoy 6th Street [hopefully] and get accustomed to the “new life”. Yes I am excited and I have been excited ever since I have been here. I know all of this, and I know everything will eventually work itself out. But knowing is not feeling. And I can’t help but let nostalgia get the better of me sometimes. Attachment and detachment, however opposite they are, are both so hard.
Ahhh, life! Fascinating, we humans are.
P.S. I don’t know why it took me so long to watch Good Will Hunting – it is an unbelievably brilliant movie, so if you haven’t seen it yet, please do watch it.
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I haven’t left yet- it’s like 3 days till I do, and I’m already going through this ’emotional rollercoaster’. Till I went through it, I thought it was just a phrase that one reads in books or hears in movies. I guess all of us have the exact same fears, I’m terrified and partly convinced I’ll never find good friends and someone will rape/murder me on campus. Lol. I’m also kind of excited about meeting new people, being able to do everything on my own, leaving my phone on loud without having people ask me “Who is it? A friend? Which friend? A Boy?” Hahaha..
I hope everything alright and one of your next posts is like “FARKING HELL UT ROCKS” hahahaha or something!
Have fun and Good Luck! xx