"Dear Diary…"
Everyone has kept a “diary” (especially you women) at some point in their life, in which they have blurted out their “deepest and darkest secrets” and emotions and feelings and all the other rot. Our “diary” is generally a substitute friend in which we vent our hearts out, which we would actually have preferred doing with a living breathing reacting soul instead, at least I would have OR it is this source of amusement ten years down the line when you are laughing your buttuties off at the fact that you were once such a kid. Anyhoo, yesterday, while “studying”, I came across my “diary”. It had only one entry in it, written all the way back in the millennium year. On the cover I had made a movie-like effort to write “STOP”, “DON’T TOUCH”, “DANGER” and all the other rubbish with white-ink. It was an old book, so I stapled the first few pages to make it look new, and wolah! – I had a new “diary”. This is how my first and only entry exactly went:
Today it is the 25th of Jan, 2000, the tuesday :-
My life is ruined. I, being only in 5th have to study so much! How can I study for 6 hours. There is a limit for everything. My sister is in 2nd year of college and she dose’nt study for 6 hours per day. I cannot go for the football tournament on thursday if I do not study well on wednesday. I cannot do down(stairs) to play football except for wednesday and thursday because this is my final term. I have friends who are in 6th, 7th, 8th. They are not studying as much as I am. Now when I tell this to my parents they say, “Do not compare.” And when my friend gets little higher marks than me, then my parents say, “Next time you should get higher marks than him.” Is’nt that comparing!
My computer had gone down for repair for 3 weeks. So I couldn’t play computer for 3 weekends, that is 12 hours (I got to play 4 hours per weekend on those days). And then when the computer comes, I get my time of 4 hours, not even 6!
Nothing is going my way, not at home or at school. I am not getting good grades in my projects cause I am not getting information. I don’t have information at home. So I have to get information from the net. But the computer was’nt there for 3 weeks. So no net. Now that I have got net, I haven’t got ‘Microsoft Word!’!!!
In my cricket match, I feilded well but bowled not so good. But it was my first over of the tournament.
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Which match? – Don’t know, don’t remember, so don’t ask. By the way, that was a completely unedited version of the entry, no grammar check, no punctuation correction and no additional masala added to make you go ‘=O’. Surprisingly the entry didn’t have any girl related issues, which normally make it in most of these diaries, especially those pink ones.
I remember Tejas started a diary in 10th grade – yeah he was real grown up then. And well it was really unique, he wrote, for a week I think, every single detail of that Ali did. 'Ali looked at me', 'Ali laughed', 'Ali dug his nose', 'Romit!', 'Harry is crazzzzy', 'Ali is guitar', 'Ali and I went up to Mrs Joshi and screwed Romit over, and Mrs Joshi loves Anish'. Now if you ever get hold of that, either you’ll get annoyed reading it or laugh your asses off. We do the latter.
P.S. If anyone doubts the 'veracity' of the diary entry, please feel free to ask me to show it to you if you ever make it to my place. =)
An Animal Instinct Indeed
Galtee Merci, The “Hero of Irish Agriculture”"Ireland's most prolific bull, which is thought to have fathered at least 100,000 daughters and countless sons and boosted the country's milk output, has died."
An Obituary
7th February was a day of great sadness, when the doer of all good that Irish Agriculture saw, miserably ran out of steam, and passed away. This mighty soldier who fathered at least 100,000 daughters and numerous sons, has moved on, to explore greener pastures and deflower the divine, in the heavenly abode of God. His William’s services have resulted in the desired pervasion of his kind – the spread of bull-ality in Ireland. When there was no other like him, this beast moved into “rescue-gear”, and BANG – everything came into place. His pleasurable actions saved a country from agricultural peril, for he made maximum use of God’s most private gift. This beast’s never-ending supply of masculine eggs and his stamina to out do the done substantiates his greatness. His passionate anti-celibacy and his celestial health made a perfect combination for producing the very best of his kind – protein-laden, and with premium milk quality. For ten years this fighter penetrated the impossible, and helped his country’s agriculture extensively, and all he needed was his most private God-given gift(s). A genius indeed.
May his soul come to peace.
P.S. Don’t believe me? http://www.4to40.com/newsat4/print.asp?id=817
Concentration Problem
I got up 1 & ½ hours later than I should have today, took my time in the bathroom, read the paper like it was the last time I will ever read one, ate a banana, studied Probability, took a break, had lunch, continued with the “short-break” and ended up watching Saving Private Ryan, which is awesome btw, and Harold & Kumar Go To WhiteCastle, which is decently funny, after which I logged on to Youtube, Facebook and MSN to watch, seek attention and chat, respectively; I then played PES 4, which is an awesomely addictive game, and followed that up with an hour of sleep, to wake up and realize that it’s dinner time, so I ate a scrumptious home-cooked low-fat dinner and then got very frustrated at my inability to study, so instead of studying I ended up doing something half-constructive – writing our farewell speech; which I was somewhat successful in, but which may be a little long for 'their' liking, and note: I was still MSN-ing and Facebook-ing during this process, after all multi-tasking is the best way to lead a life, followed closely by actually studying, instead of writing a one-sentence blog post at midnight, and now all that I have left to figure out is – should I sleep, or study all night?
P.S. Apart from the title, this post has no connection with the earlier post(s).
Connection Problem
A “connection” is never one way. But what if this ‘law’ doesn’t always make sense? Maybe I am confusing connection with attraction, or maybe it’s a mix of natural desperation and attraction. But I feel it, and I know I feel it. But she doesn’t, so it’s one way. But I always believed that you can’t feel for someone, without her feeling back for you, because the reason you feel for her, is because she feels back for you. It’s this two way thing that gets it going. She responds, and waits for your response. She wants to know why you couldn’t say ‘hi’ to her the last time you saw her in school, and you feel good that she feels that way. So develops what you think is a “connection” and a “desire”. Yeah? Well not really, at least this time, so the whole idea I once had about “Half-Understanding Human Psychology” takes a trip, because well, the most important aspect doesn’t fit into the jigsaw. So I get confused, and well I am confused, and hope to learn something from this, and then come up with a better “Half-Understanding Human Psychology” theory.
P.S. This post, I write, because I don’t want to lose the emotion that I am currently feeling. So forgive me if it’s annoying.
The Last Official Day...
31st January, 2007. Wow. School is finally over. Finally? Haha. No more of fighting with your sleep in the morning, no more of sitting in boring Chemistry classes, no more annoying sessions of prep, no more “punishments”, no more of “volcanoes” and other annoying people, no more of dealing with school politics, no more childish cat-fights and no more minor acts of homosexuality. That’s it. It’s all over - a hurdle crossed, a bar cleared, a mountain conquered, a story written, the Section A of “Life” is over. Wow. I should be happy and glad for my childhood prayers have been answered, right?
But then why is it suddenly so difficult to accept? I have been waiting for this moment (and of course, also for end March), and now that I am experiencing it, I just want to rewind, or relive, or continue in the same old cycle, with the same old people, enjoying the same old friendship, the same old flow of love (however corny that sounds), the same old sense of belonging, the same old same old. It’s difficult dealing with attachment, detachment seems almost impossible.
Today was full of contrasting emotions. First was pride. Our slightly younger peers, i.e Grade 11, blew me (us) away with a beautiful rendition of voices and passion. Then the hypocrisy seemed to seep in, not from them, but generally, and that left me wondering negatively. Loads of pictures, rehearsals, autographs (weirdly enough), hugs and smiles followed. I felt happy and sad. Happy for I would be running away from the wasteful and unnecessary politics and wrongness, and sad as I will not get to spend time with those genuine people that I have genuinely grown close to. Sad - more, for I will miss the pure stupidity that elated us, that moment of immaturity that broke my heart, only to mend itself into a stronger one and the pure respect and love that I and we received from those that saw well in us. From the subtle encouragement of our teachers, to some moments of their sheer brilliance, to their acceptance of our failure, to their respect for our honesty, to their company for our pleasure, to their guidance and support in times of our weakness – it just blows me away. There is so much good and bad, but to appreciate the good and learn from the bad is to make the most of what you get.
It is confusing, this emotion. I know I will miss school and that I will always have this un-destroyable desire to return to school, but at the same time I know I have to look beyond it and dive into the realms of what the future holds for me. I will miss our school and the people I have grown to love, but I will not forget them and those that have changed my life, and taught me it’s greatest lessons. I don’t need signed shirts to do that. I will forget the bad, and make my own soft hours to which I can turn to. This contradiction leaves me almost emotionless – I can’t believe there is no more school.
P.S. Attachment can be a source of annoyance, but it’s the greatest sustainer. Wow – now I am philosopher. Anyway, I still have 2 months of studying left, the before-party, the farewell dinner, the board exams, and the Sports Day to look forward too. Not quite completely over yet now, huh?
"Love's Sweet Salute"
Movie: Salaam-e-Ishq
Length: 220 minutes = 3 hrs 40 mins
Feedback: Fake, 'Faltu' and Filmy
How long can a movie get? How pathetic can acting become? How boring can a feature film be? Salaam-e-Ishq answers all of the above questions more convincingly and satisfying-ly than any other film I have seen to date. It broke records - we actually walked out after the interval.
Why? It’s as if the God wanted to make a really bad film and thought of taking it out on Bollywood. “Inspired” from the classy English film ‘Love Actually’, Salaam-e-Ishq couldn’t go that wrong now could it? Well it did. Sprayed with “un-inspiring” songs and road-side acting, I cannot really point out any positives. Yes the caste seemed very impressive, but figure the following: Vidya Balan is not bad, but is un-pretty and fat; John Abraham is John “too-cool-but-fake-ironed-hair” Abraham; Salman Khan is the epitome of fake + annoying; Priyanka Chopra is fatter and fake-r than ever; Govinda is half decent, but annoying to people who have a general disgust for him; Anil Kapoor hardly speaks a word, but a random, hot, young girl kisses him on the cheek for doing her a small favour, and thus begins a desperate extra-marital wannabe love-affair; Akshaye Khanna is the best over-actor ever and Sohail Khan ridiculously just doesn’t ‘get’ any, but the car in which he is trying to “do it” does fall into his parents’ new house through the roof, but no one dies.
Basically, it was utter bullshit, which was not funny in any way, and this we figured after watching 90 minutes of it, only 130 minutes were left when we walked out. Now if 90 minutes can’t sustain you…
Fine, I guess a story can never, and should never go wrong when it comes to love, but this movie proves even that wrong. As an Aaj Tak reported put it, somewhere within the Fat Lady that is Salaam-e-Ishq, the Thin Lady is waiting to burst out, but the friggin’ flab is too much of an obstruction. I laughed a lot during this Fat Lady. I laughed at the crowd which laughed at the lamest of jokes, I laughed at the ridiculousness of the film, I laughed at Salman Khan for he is one funny pain-in-the-butt and I laughed at myself for paying 35 dirhams to watch this film.
So my advice – don’t you dare watch Salaam-e-Ishq. And if you do, please feel free to walk out whenever you wish. You can enjoy the sheer stupidity of it, but even that gets annoying after some time. To me, this movie is a definition of what not to make and what not to see, so if you are still trying to figure what that is, then it’s a must see.
P.S. It was my sister and my cousin who “forced” me to watch this film.